Your LifeSkills Collection

Dear Friend

How well do you control your (minor) fears?  

How many actions you take (or not take) are based on fear?

 

Here is an important LifeSkill that will help you!!!

  

LifeSkill #1:

“Increase your capacity to absorb and confront your fears”

 

Benefits of this LifeSkill:

  • Increased confidence by yourself

  • Gain confidence of others

  • Assists in becoming more assertive

  • Contributes to a happier and better quality of life

  • Helps towards better emotional stability

  • Better “decision-making” capability

  • Better rewards, better money, better relationships, better health

Rationale:

Insecurity/fear has ‘now’ been recognized as the strongest barrier preventing individuals from moving forward. The courage to face your fears determines your leadership potential.

 

The development of courage in yourself is the first responsibility of leadership. The second responsibility is to develop courage in others, your staff, your children, your spouse, and your friends. But you must begin with yourself because you can’t give away something that you don’t have. You can only encourage others to the degree to which you experience and demonstrate courage yourself. You must “Walk your talk”!!!

 

Stimulants


 Manage Your Fear

Here’s the first rule: “Everyone is afraid.”

You’re afraid, I’m afraid, everyone you meet is afraid in some way, often in many ways. As Mark Twain said, “Courage is not absence of fear; it is control of fear, mastery of fear.” The brave person is a person who acts inspite of his/her fears, faces fear, feels it and moves forward, regardless.


  

Confront Your Fear

Here’s the second rule: “Fears diminish and lose their power over you as you confront them and move toward them; conversely, every time you back away from a fearful situation, the fear grows and becomes more powerful.”

 

The only way to develop courage is to consciously and continuously make a habit of confronting your fear of treating every fear-inducing situation as a challenge and as an opportunity to become stronger. This would reinforce and have a trigger effect on your decision-making abilities.

 

 

Do The Thing You Fear

Here’s the third rule: Elimination game: “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” Psychologists call this the process of “systematic desensitization,” doing it over and over until it holds no fear for you anymore. Many businesspeople who have been afraid of public speaking have used this process of eliminating fear.

 

Furthermore, consider the fear of "closing" for a salesman who is afraid of listening to "No". Repeated "No's" is the only way to overcome this fear. Other examples would be learning to drive, flying, talking to boss, exams, making conversation with strangers etc.

 

 

Challenging Questions:

  • “How can you differentiate between your intuition and fear?”

  • “How would you classify your overall fear level that determines your actions?”

  • “What’s the boldest thing you have ever done?” (and when was it?)

  • “How do your children, spouse, colleagues, juniors, reflect on your cautiousness?”

 

Action Exercises

Here are three ways to apply these rules to develop courage in yourself.


1) First, confront your fears directly and immediately. Whenever you feel afraid for any reason, do it anyway! You’ll be amazed at your success. Start by confronting small fears. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen to you”? Take at least one bold step in the next 12 hours. (See how much power you gain)


2) Second, do the thing you fear over and over until it has no more power over you. The more you repeat the action, the more courage and confidence you will have.

 

3) Make a list of all your insecurities (now) on a piece of paper. Then determine which you can and cannot change. Also be aware how each insecurity / fear determines your behavior and decisions. Be more aware of your own self.

 

 

Practice the above (Consciously) for 3 months. Keep track of your bold decisions. Keep a journal, "Bold Decisions" by your bedside and review it every week or as and when you record your feelings. Years later you will look back at your "Bold Decision" journal and smile!!!

 

Related Quotes

–  “Nothing to fear but  fear itself” – Franklin D Roosevelt

–  “Conquer your fears and I promise you will conquer death” – Alexander The Great

–  “The place where your greatest fears live is also the place where your greatest growth lies. Why would you ever run away from that?” - Robin Sharma

–   “The conquest of fear lies in the moment of its acceptance.” -- Unknown

–   “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear” -- Gandhi

 

 

Psychology of fear

The skill of perceiving fear was nurtured by evolution: ancestors who were able to respond quickly probably had a greater chance of survival, helping to spread this trait to future generations. This “Primitive Defense System” certainly was needed to survive and now we know that Fear resides in the inner most part of our brain, called, “Amygdala” – almond shaped structures in each half of the brain.

 

The “memory of fear” however resides in a spot in prefrontal cortex of the brain situated a few inches behind your forehead – hence may be a part of our active mind that determines our day to day decisions and functioning.

 

 

Further Reading

Trust you will have a brave month ahead!!!

 

Well wishes from

 

 

Haseeb T Hasan

haseeb@intekworld.com

www.intekworld.com

 

p.s. Since this is my first LifeSkills issue, I would appreciate if you could provide your feedback if you prefer to receive this on monthly, two monthly or quarterly basis (or none at all).

 

Please email at lifeskills@intekworld.com if you feel this email has benefited you. Thank you!!!

 

Acknowledgements for the contents of this issue to Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, Brian Tracy, Roger Highfield, previous readings, web research and my own fears and endeavors to overcome them.

 

Also extend my appreciation to Waqas, Faisal, Pooja, Steve Smart, Zaufyshan, Jamil Janjua, Atif Rizvi, Hamza, Amal and Miryll who helped shape this LifeSkills issue better for you.

 

 

==================================================================

Haseeb T Hasan, manages a "Training and Consultancy" Business in Dubai alongwith his wife Zaufyshan. Both Husband/Wife team are dedicated to improving people's lives, personally and professionally. To learn more about them, please visit www.intekworld.com .

 

This LifeSkills Issue is an extract from Haseeb's forthcoming book.

 

Contact Information:

Intek Solutions

P O Box 81180

Dubai UAE

Tel: 00971 4 334 2830

Fax: 00971 4  334 2831

 

For consultancy or training please contact Shelley at Shelley@intekworld.com

 

 

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LifeSkills # 1  


What are LifeSkills?

Skills needed to live happily and progress "better" in personal and professional life are called LifeSkills!!!


 

LifeSkills

An overview

 In today’s New Economy, additional tools and skills are needed to prosper and be successful. It’s all about “Empowerment.” You need to empower yourself to make changes in your life, to look at and react to situations differently than you have in the past.





 

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