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The word “patience” can have some gloomy undertones for the mind as it implies “waiting longer”. However, as far as the mind is concerned it can never really understand what patience means, all it can do is develop “controlled impatience” – some people are good at controlling their impatience as a matter of discipline, they can get really good at playing the waiting game. The natural patience I am talking about has nothing to do with the mind at all, in fact it has nothing to do with waiting either, it’s just a sense of not waiting for anything – this what true patience really is, when you can sense a place in you which is not really waiting for anything.
This place can never be reached through the mind, like I mentioned earlier, the mind is only capable of controlled impatience – the mind is always waiting for something to happen, the next thing, and that’s its design, its natural way of being, and this part of it doesn’t have to be changed. However, when you don’t know this other place in yourself which is not waiting for anything, you cannot feel a balance in your being. This place is referred to in many ways in spiritual teachings as a space of stillness, the space of being, the space of eternity etc but in most cases the mind reads these pointers and tries to execute them, and it “tries” to become still, which is not what is being asked for, the pointer is to find this space which is already still, in the sense that it’s not waiting for anything to feel whole.
Finding this space is not just about spirituality, it has a very strong influence on your ability to manifest your desired reality. This space is what brings in the vibration of wholeness and a natural patience (of not waiting, of not being desperate), which is the feeling place of “fulfillment”. I am sure you’ve heard it many times that once you desire you need to make yourself feel that you already have it, and once you create this feeling of already having it, it manifests easily. The mind, however, no matter how hard it tries, cannot ever genuinely create this feeling – it’s not the mind’s fault, after all the mind is just being sincere that it can’t see the physical evidence of the desire being manifested and hence it can’t feel now what it would feel when its manifested. A lot of people struggle with their mind forcing it to believe that the desire has already manifested, the “fake it, until you make it deal”, but the truth is that the mind is not “gullible”, it can’t believe what it can’t see, that’s how the mind is – you can’t fake it, you are only fooling yourself if you are trying to make your mind believe something it can’t see. However, there is a place outside the mind, which is naturally rooted in this feeling – once you access this place you can tune into its vibration and thus incorporate this vibration of “not waiting”, thus become match to the creation process.
The mind will always be impatient, at the maximum you can force it to control its impatience. So if the domain of mind is all you know of, you can’t help but carry a vibration of desperation all the time, in some way or the other. Some people just get good at masking their desperation – I am sure you’ve indulged in your share of dating games, where you hold back on calling that person for a few days though you desperately wanted to, you want to show that you are not desperate, that you’ve got other things going for you, this is what controlled impatience is, it’s not very enjoyable. However, the domain of the mind is just one small aspect of your being, and when your awareness is totally anchored into the mind you miss out on the other part of your being (the larger part) which is the non-physical space of wholeness, also called the space of being. This space of non-physical wholeness is the space that naturally is not waiting for anything simply because everything manifests here instantly, there is only the “Now” in this space, and the “Now” is not waiting for anything.
I am sure most of you have experimented with “staying in the Now”, using your mind, and the results obviously were not pretty. Again, staying in the Now is not a directive for the mind, it’s a pointer to a place that’s already, naturally, always the Now. The mind always takes up such pointers and tries to execute them, and hence misses the simple truth being pointed out. The mind cannot be still, it’s not the nature of the mind to be still, only this space of non-physical wholeness can have this feeling of stillness because it’s not impatient or fearful about anything, it’s in a perfect balance. If you want to see the hierarchy, it goes something like this “Non-physical space of wholeness” > stream of individual consciousness > the mind, by “>” symbol I just mean, what is “before” – basically, since you are life-energy, you are all of this at the same time, and thus you have access to all the three domains at the same time, there are no boundaries, the only question is are you going to allow your consciousness to be fully engaged in the mind or can you relax enough to connect with your non-physical wholeness aspect.
Remember that the mind is a domain of its own, and it’s not the mind that has to find this space. Rather, if you just stay in a state of “letting go”, or a state of allowing, you are bound to sense this space as a different domain within you. The mind and the non-physical space of wholeness can co-exist simultaneously all the time, this is another aspect of “balance”. When you are not connected with this space of wholeness, and the domain of mind is all you know, it becomes an imbalanced state to begin with. The deal is that your consciousness is pulled into the mind as soon as your focus is in body, the mind with all its noise, projections and imaginations, can totally anchor you in its domain without leaving any room for you to explore this other domain of your being. It takes a conscious letting go of the mind, for a while, so that you can sense this space of non-physical wholeness within you – once you do sense it, you will “know” its presence, and once you know for yourself it will shift your perspective, until then it will just be a concept for you.
Initially, as you stay in a state of allowing, you can get some sudden glimpse of this space of wholeness – they can be enjoyable experiences, but they are just fleeting glimpse or fore-tastes. Just having fleeting glimpses doesn’t serve you much in “living”, except to indicate to you that there is a different domain that needs to be explored. The reason that you only get fleeting glimpses is because there is a layer of separation created by the momentum of negativity in your emotional and mental space – in fact, the layers run deep due to accumulation of the past. Unless you make away with most of these layers, you can’t find a permanent grounding in this space of wholeness. The phase of “release”, or letting go, is a means to clear up these accumulated layers of negativity that keep you from being in contact with this domain of non-physical wholeness.
The simple truth is that if you allow your mind to hold you hostage on any account, you will be held up and there won’t be a release, and thus you would just delay the process of clearing up these layers of negativity. Fear is the mechanism that the mind will always use to hold consciousness hostage, the mind fears being “deserted” in some way when you start letting go – you can be rest assured that the mind will not be deserted, your physicality will remain your focus (or there will be a return of focus), but the process of letting go is important, as a temporary phase, to connect with your space of wholeness. In fact, understanding the nature of reality of life is a means to let go of your “delusions” about physical life which may be holding you hostage, and thus be finally willing to allow a release of this anchorage your have towards your mind. Once you have established grounding in this space, you will no longer find your mind to be problematic, it will continue doing its job as per its design of desiring from a physical perspective, it will also stay true to its nature of being impatient, but now there is a space in you that’s not affected by the mind’s vibration – this space of natural patience, natural stillness and natural wholeness creates a new vibration in you, which balances out the vibration of the mind.
Usually, when you’ve had enough of your mind’s tyranny and its relentless nagging, is when you look for a way out of a mind dominated living. The search for peace is basically a search for the end of being a prisoner to the mind’s restless movements. This search should eventually bring you an understanding of your non-physical domain, and it comes as a huge revelation to realize this other part of us. Spirituality, if authentic, is all about getting you to connect with this space of non-physical wholeness within you. It’s a very real space, it’s not some philosophy, it’s not a belief, it’s not an imagination – it’s as real as the domain of the mind that you are so familiar with. When you start finding a grounding in this space, you will sense it clearly just the way you sense your mind – you will see its nature of being still, of not waiting for anything (natural patience), of being whole, of knowing the well-being, of a seamless wisdom, none of which is some mind created imagination – however, unless you get a taste of this space yourself, you can’t know for yourself.