 
Office jargon
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Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
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Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops
all over everything and then leaves.
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Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
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Cube
Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
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Idea
Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators
running.
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Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop over the walls to see what's going
on.
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Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
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Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a
vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the
number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number
and ask the operator for assistance"
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Downsizing - Decruitment
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Depression: anger without enthusiasm.
Strategic Management
In the Beginning was the Plan
And then came the Assumptions
And the Assumptions were without form
And the Plan was completely without substance
and the darkness was upon the face of the workers
and they spoke among themselves, saying
"It is a crock of shit and it stinketh"
And the workers went unto the Supervisors and sayeth
"It is a pile of dung and none may abide the odour thereof"
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
Such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength".
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong".
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth and is very powerful".
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him,
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency
of this Organization, and in these areas in particular".
And the President looked upon The Plan,
And saw that it was good, and the Plan became Policy.
This is How Shit Happens.
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