Executive Envelopes 
Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech
corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and
presented him with three numbered envelopes....#1,#2,#3. "Open these if
you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," the
departing CEO said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales
took a downturn and Morris was really catching a lot of heat. About at
his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and
took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor."
Morris, the new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the
blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the
press -- and Wall Street -- responded positively, sales began to pick up
and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in
sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his
previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The
message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly
rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again
fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and
opened the third envelope.
The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."
Lazy Employeee
The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check
up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man
leaning lazily against a post.
"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.
"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300,
slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said "Here's a week's pay --
now get out and don't come back!"
Turning to one of the supervisors, he said "How long has that lazy bum
been working here anyway?"
"He doesn't work here," said the supervisor. "He was just here to
deliver a pizza!"
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
- John Barrymore
***
Nothing more clearly show how little God esteems his gift to men of
wealth, money, position and other wordly goods, than the way he
distributes these, and the sort of men who are most amply provided with
them.
- Jean De La Bruyere
***
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and
ask for it back when it rains.
- Robert Frost
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