Counting on You
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says,
"we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife
needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling
stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day
off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"
You are Late ...
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He
had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one
particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a
sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch
and muttering, came out into the corridor.
Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn,
his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to
the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him,
"I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly
killed myself."
And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a
whole hour?"
Job Application
A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company
and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan
the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job
he has ever held.
"I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've
been fired from every job."
"Yes," says the man.
"Well," continues the executive, "there's not much positive in that."
"Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I'm not a
quitter."
When Michelin, Goodyear,
and Firestone workers become 65 years old, do they simply quit work, or
merely re-Tire?
- Sir Lawrence Brotherton
***
If you tell the boss
you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you
will have a flat tire. Cannon's Law
***
No project was ever
completed on time and within budget. Cheops
Law
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