Over the last month, on several occasions I took the train from Antwerp to Amsterdam. Like the Scotsman, the Dutch are notorious penny pinchers. So I wasn't surprised that 3 out of the 15 passengers in my train wagon didn't have a valid ticket. Collecting the money that is owed to the Duch railways ain't an easy job. This is a period during which the Dutch ticket inspectors are complaining about aggression on board of their trains. A week ago, some got even hit with a lead pipe. So, often those inspectors work in pairs, or even with 3 or 4 at the time.
In this case, I was surprised by the way a female ticket inspector, working all by herself, was dealing with it. I really admired her demonstration of emotional intelligence.

Her first "customer" made it seem like a "mistake" - the inspector showed empathy, and followed the customer into the story, still being assertive about the ticket that had to be paid, and explaining the customer how to avoid the extra penalty payment on a future occasion.

The second customer was riding on a "reduced price" ticket that was only valid after rush hours. The problem was that this was during rush hours… So our inspector treated that as a mistake too, and only charged him extra for the part of the trip till the rush hour was over.

The third customer "forgot to validate his ticket" - after asking some questions, the inspector found out that the guy was trying to get several rides on the same ticket that way. So the inspector pointed out that she would have to issue a new ticket in that case. The customer became more aggressive, and started insulting "inspectors in general" - our inspector did "as if she didn't hear that", thus avoiding an escalation of the dispute. Then the customer claimed to be unable to pay. Again the inspector pointed out the consequences for the customer in a friendly way, adding that she was just doing her job. Without showing any anger, she dealt with the customer in the most productive way possible.

The pattern?

Show empathy with the "problem" the customer is facing, accept the explanation, follow them in their story. But at the same time, keep being assertive. You feel sorry for them, but be assertive: as inspector it's your job to deal with the consequences - following the book. Nothing personal in that. Combining these 2 approaches gives the customer a chance to get away with it ("save face"), while you do your job.