The Procrastinator's creed
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1. I believe that if
anything is worth doing, it would have been
done already.
2.
I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or
find
excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime
of
consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines
directly in proportion to the
amount of bodily injury I could expect
to receive from
missing them.
5. I firmly believe that
tomorrow holds the possibility for new
technologies, astounding
discoveries, and a reprieve from
my obligations.
6. I truly
believe that all deadlines are unreasonable
regardless of the amount
of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability
of a miracle, though
infinitesimally small, is not exactly
zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next
year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of
course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin,
start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word,
when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse
excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more
insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the
greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not
plan-start-finish, but is wait-plan-plan.
13. I will never
put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14.
I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles
(the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it
organized. |
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Answering
Machine Messages |
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I can't come to the phone now
because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway,
and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get
back to you.
I can't come to the phone now
because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't
remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my
name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
The number you have
reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new
number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
(Klingon voice:)
ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK. You have reached the number you have
dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
The number you have
reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new
number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it. |
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