BUBBA
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know,
I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know
them. "Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how
about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can
prove it. "So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom
Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see
you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! "Although
impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's
house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just
lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says. "President Clinton,"
his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out
to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and
motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was
just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and
let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very
shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the
White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again
implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!"
says Bubba.
"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope along time." So off
they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in
Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the
Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards
so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the
Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure
enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart
attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss'
side, Bubba asks him, What happened?" His boss looks up and says, I was
doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man
next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
