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4. Empathy and rapport are the two wires through which you can connect yourself with the rest of the humanity.

These qualities become natural to you, if you have genuine interest in other people and are willing to step aside and let others speak to you.

Rapport comes when you learn to identify yourselves with other people and empathy when you develop the understanding and sensitivity to feel the feelings and experience the emotions behind the words and gestures.

5. Learn to listen intelligently, trying to understand the others' view points. Concentrate on the ideas as well, for a better understanding of what you are listening. If you are in an important meeting, a group conversation, or a conference, you can jot down the main ideas briefly, but this should not interfere with your task of listening for understanding and insight.

6. A closed mind cannot absorb new information. A mind that is prejudiced and inimical to certain ideas cannot create an effective listening attitude.

If you want to become an effective listener you must step out of your little egoistic world and set yourself completely free. Of what use is your knowledge, if it limits and obstructs your infinite capacity to grow and expand mentally and spiritually?

You can listen to the words of others only when you have no hidden agenda of your own, if you do not feel threatened by others superiority or the richness of their thoughts and ideas.

When you have nothing to prove to the world except your genuine interest and concern for the freedom of others to express themselves, you allow yourself to become an effective and intelligent listener with a responsive mind and willing heart.

7. Develop a rich vocabulary. The more words you know, the greater will be your capacity to listen and understand. The bigger your vocabulary, the greater will be your capacity to absorb and assimilate the complexity of thoughts.

8. As you listen to others show genuine interest in what they are saying. Seek information, ask questions and clarify your doubts. Do not be a mere passive listener. Keep the conversation alive with your own responses here and there, but without trying to dominate the conversation. Look for the non verbal clues as well.

In the end, remember that listening is a very important part of our daily communication process. It helps us to understand the people and the world around us. it helps us to cope with our own problems effectively. It gives us the space and time needed in our relationships to make them stronger and last longer.

But you should also remember that you cannot live in this world only by listening. Sometimes when the occasion demands, when you truly believe that something very important is at stake, you have to speak out your mind and make your stand very clear.

Many problems arise in our lives because in crucial moments we hesitate to speak and make ourselves clear. If our children, close friends or relations, or our colleagues need some improvement or certain correction in their behavior or attitude, they need to be told in no uncertain terms what is expected of them. But even on such occasions one should listen carefully before speaking out ones mind.

In the final analysis, like any others tool, listening can be used as a part of ones choice and discretion. A good listener is always in a better position to deal with his problems and relationships.

He is accepted every where and welcome into every conversation. He rarely involves himself in controversies and misunderstanding. He has nothing to prove and nothing to show off to the world. He has nothing to lose but only gain the richness of his understanding.

Therefore remember this wonderful law of communication: Listen as much as possible, but speak only when it is a must.   l