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Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person
asked the young Engineer fresh out of Stanford, "And what starting
salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood
of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks
vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching
retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2
years - say....a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but
when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance
... she leaned over and pushed me."
A walking economy
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a
psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."
The friend asks, "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation,
and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"
Equation of earnings
The Equation
Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business
executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that
explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows,
Work = Power * Time
Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have:
Work = Knowledge * Money
Solving for Money, we get:
Work
Money = ----------
Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge decreases, Money increases, regardless of how
much Work is done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.
Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped
out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled upon this proof
as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the
pursuit of ignorance.
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Corporate
Humor