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Sales Demo
When a young salesman met his untimely end, he was informed that he had
a choice about where he would spend his eternity: Heaven or Hell. He was
allowed to visit both places, and then make his decision
afterwards.
'I'll see Heaven first,' said the salesman, and an angel
led through the gates on a private tour. Inside it was very peaceful and
serene, and all the people there were playing harps and eating grapes. It
looked very nice, but the salesman was not about to make a decision that
could very well condemn him to a life of musical produce.
'Can I see Hell now?' he asked. The angel pointed him to the elevator,
and he went down to the Basement where he was greeted by one of Satan's
loyal followers. For the next half hour, the salesman was led through a
tour of what appeared to be the best night clubs he'd ever seen. People
were partying loudly, and having a, if you'll pardon the expression, Hell
of a time.
The B-B-Bible Salesman
A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window.
He went up to the owner and said, 'I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the
j-joooob-b.'
'I don't know if this job would suit you because of your
speaking impediment,' said the owner.
'I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and
s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!' said
the man.
'O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them.' said the
owner.
So the man went out and came back an hour later.
'H-here-sss
your m-m-money.' said the man.
The owner was impressed, so he gave the
man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out.
The man came back in two
hours and said, 'Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money.'
The owner said, 'This is
fantastic. You sold more Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a
week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the
door?'
'W-welllll,' said the man, 'I r-r-ring the d-door bell, a-a-and
s-s-say 'H-Hel-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w- want t-t t-to buy
thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m'me t-toooo read it
t-t-t-t-to you?'
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Professional
Consultant |
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An eminent heart specialist was at a glittering social
function and was in animated conversation with a lovely young
thing wearing a great deal of makeup and the barest minimum of
clothing. It was only a few minutes too late that the good doctor
became aware that his wife, whom he thought was safely in the
next room, was watching him with a steely glare.
Clearing his throat, the doctor said, 'Ah, my dear, that young
lady over there and I were just indulging in a purely professional
consultation.'
'So I can well imagine,' said his wife icily, 'but was it your
profession, or hers?'
BOSS: ‘You’re an hour late! Where have you
been?’
CLERK: ‘Having my hair cut.’
BOSS: ‘What! On company time?’
CLERK: ‘Well, it grew on company time?’
BOSS: ‘It didn’t all grow on company time!’
CLERK: ‘Well, I didn’t have it all cut off.’
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